6 Months

I’m notorious for going for long stretches without posting anything. 6 months isn’t my longest break.. but it is pretty long. So I’m going to jump into my first post in 2016 (Yes I know it’s May) by doing a little recap of my life since November.

Zeus

My puppy (or not so puppy) turned 9 in February. He is officially an “old man” dog, but I’ll always call him my puppy. Unfortunately, he has developed a health issue which has been ongoing for more than a year really, but it’s starting to get worse a lot faster these days. Mike and I have self-diagnosed him as having DM (degenerative myelopathy.) It’s a degenerative spinal cord disease similar in that to ALS in humans. He hasn’t been to the vet for it, so the diagnosis is unofficial. DM is not a disease that can really be tested for, rather it’s diagnosed after other problems are ruled out. It’s also something that can’t be treated, and there is no cure. I really didn’t feel like spending hundreds (thousands?) of dollars at the vet trying to rule out anything else.. and plenty of online sources I’ve read show dogs- including pugs- with DM, and they all look the way Zeus does. He is still himself really… he is not in any pain, still wants to play, still follows us around and greets us eagerly when we come home… but his hind legs have really been hindered. He stumbles when he walks, falls down a lot, and drags his back feet. At least, he did when it started to become apparent he had a problem beyond what I thought was just arthritis and aging.

The fact is.. we have noticed that his degeneration is moving rather quickly, at least in his hind quarters. Around Christmas time, we started to notice him stumbling more, dragging his feet, and walking stiffly. After the New Year, he was falling a lot more and seemed to have a harder time walking out in the grass. Last month we noticed he would fall and get stuck, especially on the tile in our kitchen. He just couldn’t get his legs up under him to push himself up. He was also having a really hard time not falling on uneven and slippery surfaces, like the grass outside and the tile. We decided at this point to look into getting him a wheelchair.

I did some research and found a great cart for Zeus on HandicappedPets.com. They sell doggie wheelchairs that are fully adjustable and customizable- and while they still were a little expensive- it was less expensive than having someone make a custom chair. We settled on a used/refurbished model and saved about $100. It came within a week and was pretty easy to put together. The hardest part was making all the right adjustments to make sure Zeus fit properly and comfortably in the chair.

Once we got him in and outside.. it was amazing the difference! He moved so fast! He no longer stumbled, and what was taking 15+ minutes to walk to the corner and back now took about 7. At first he walked in spurts- it does take a dog a little while to get used to the cart- and his front legs needed to adjust/build strength enough to support the work of walking by themselves. But honestly, he took to it very well. The cart is very light weight, and manuvers very easy. After some practice, he’s walking pretty good in it and sometimes walks ahead of me a little.

I do have to say, he looks a little ridiculous in the cart. BUT, he gets so much attention when we’re out. A lot people feel sorry for him and ask if he’s ok or what happened to his legs. Other people laugh, because it is quite funny looking. Overall though, I know it’s improving his quality of life and letting him stay with us a little bit longer.

Helping Mike change his oil... this is how he sits now.

Helping Mike change his oil… this is how he sits now.

As for me, Zeus is my baby. Seeing him struggle to walk breaks my heart, but being able to give him the wheelchair makes me feel so much better, even as he continues to decline. As of now (actually, we’ve noticed even more degeneration even over the past two weeks) he struggles to walk on the carpet, cannot walk on the tile anymore at all, and gets stuck a lot. He falls flat on his bum with his legs sticking out from under him, and can’t get back up. I’ve been trying to get him in the chair more inside so he can be mobile, but he can’t rest (sit or lay) while in the chair. My strategy right now is to take him for walks in the cart and then let him be in it while we are fixing meals/eating- that way he can come over and walk about the kitchen as he usually does- and then take him out when he goes in his pen, or hangs out with us on the sofa. I know it’s only a matter of time before the disease spreads and starts to affect his front and other body functions, but my goal as his mommy is just to make him as comfortable as possible and let him have a good quality of life as long as he wants it… ok now I’m getting teary-eyed… *snif*

Zeus in his wheels

Zeus in his wheels

 

Still sooo snuggly!

Still sooo snuggly!

Fitness

I think in my last post I mentioned doing the Supreme 90 day workouts. Well, I would like to report that I completed 60 days of the program, but then got distracted. Mike and I planned to stay home in MD for Christmas this past December, but planned a trip to NY to visit with his family for New Years. I had pretty good success completing workouts in my father-in-law’s garage when we visited in October, and I wanted to do something similar in January. I did a little searching for programs and I really got pulled in by Beachbody’s Insanity Max 30 workout program. First- I loved the idea that the workouts were only 30 minutes long. Second- I loved that it was intense, which would make me feel like I got a great work out in the short amount of time. Third- I loved that the program involved no equipment. Which means I didn’t have to worry about bringing anything with me (other than my yoga mat… but even this wasn’t “needed”) when we traveled.

So I bought the program and did my workout s the whole week we were there. I continued the program when I got home and finished all 60 days. IM30 is really tough and at times made me feel like I’ve never worked out a day in my life. I ended up needing to modify a bunch of moves due to my bum knee, but the program had a modifier person in every workout, and I quickly learned which moves I needed to avoid/change to reduce my knee pain. All in all, I got through it pretty good and was proud of myself for seeing the program through.

That said, I did not have very good results from the program, at least from a body composition perspective. I don’t fault the program at all, as I did see a great improvement in my Max-out times and thus improvement in my fitness. I just have a hard time with my nutrition. I love to eat. I’m addicted to sugar… and my body does not do a very good job of metabolizing it. I’m convinced that my nutrition is the #1 thing holding me back from progress.

In an effort to help boost my metabolism, I wanted to incorporate more weight lifting. I backed off a bit after S90D in order to make sure focus on finishing IM30.I decided to go with another Beachbody product, Body Beast. It’s a 90 day gradual weight lifting program. It’s really marketed for men. but plenty of women have done it too. I’d managed to complete the first 3 weeks.. and then life got in the way. The plan at this point is to re-start.. so hoping I can keep up with it.

Weight Loss

Lately, I feel like I’ve lost my mojo and haven’t been going to the gym. I still get my morning workouts done, and have been eating 21DF style, most of the time.. but I’m getting minimal results. I know it’s totally on me and I need to suck it up and pull myself together- but it’s so easy to get into the mind set of “well it’s not going to work, so why try so hard.” Sigh.. I need to get over myself and just do what I need to do. I need to start doing my weight training again, consistently. I also need to be more careful with my nutrition. See, I know the answers… Ok.. whine over.

 

Mental Health

For just about a whole year I’ve been seeking treatment for generalized anxiety and panic disorders. I’d been having pretty bad anxiety attacks since 2012, some of which would last for hours. By the time it would finally fade (usually when I went to sleep and woke up the next morning) I would be so worried about having them again, it would trigger anxiety and the cycle would continue. I also had a lot on intrusive thoughts I could not control… usually involving my untimely death by one means or another. It was exhausting, uncomfortable, scary, and cyclic. Finally, Mike and my doctor got me to seek treatment. I started seeing a psychiatrist who prescribed me medication. It helped a great deal- I was no longer having the intrusive thoughts, and my panic attacks had stopped,  but I was still having breakthrough symptoms of random dizziness and shortness of breath, which didn’t alarm me so much, bu was really annoying to feel that way.

My job requires employees to participate in a special reliability program in order to work with some of the compounds we have. It’s a safety issue, but mostly a security issue- they need to make sure they have the most stable and trustworthy people working with some of their most secure and toxic compounds. As a participant in this program, we are required to self report medical records, changes in health or life status, prescription medications.. etc. I reported my anxiety issues and my medication and was required to seek a formal behavioral health evaluation. Long story short- it was recommended that I be suspended from the program- and thus working with certain classes of compounds- until I underwent 90 days of therapy treatment to address my symptoms. It was a little annoying to have to comply.. but I knew it would be good for me.

So I’ve been seeing a therapist and been working using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to de-sensitize myself from my anxiety triggers. The methods are quite simple actually, but do require a lot of practice. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve actually been able to taper off my medication and am ready to move onto the maintenance phase of CBT.. which will help keep my anxiety in check, as well as be able to bring it down if I do have a spike. I even have an appointment for a re-evaluation to be re-instated in the reliability program at work.. so happy about that.

Anyways, I wanted to share this because anxiety is a very common mental disorder. Sometimes your brain just gets stuck and chemical imbalances can occur to make you more susceptible to it. Medication really helps, but it’s a band-aid. Plus, a lot of people have a hard time going on or coming off the medications. (Coming off has been, and still slightly is a struggle for me.) But CBT has done wonders for me.. and I wanted to let anyone who is reading this and dealing with these issues know that it CAN be treated! I know how it feels to feel absolutely crippled from anxiety and it’s symptoms. People who have never experienced it do not (and really can not) know how it can affect you physically and emotionally. At my worst- I even felt a little detached and depressed- “why can everyone else live perfectly normal lives while I feel like I’m dying.” But there IS relief, you just have to know where to go. I would start with your general practitioner- see if they have a list of recommended counseling centers you can seek out. You want someone experienced in dealing with generalized anxiety disorders and can help you through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It may seem like new-age hooey when you first look into it (how can just breathing and imagery possible stop my very real and tangible physical symptoms!?!?)  but trust me.. you will start to feel normal again with enough practice! Feel free to message me if you have any questions.. I’ll be glad to help!

Vacations

In April my mom, her boyfriend, Mike and I went down to Orlando to visit my sister’s family. My niece’s birthday was on the 10th, my nephew’s the 18th, and my sister’s on the 20th. We rented a house nearby through AirBnB and it actually worked out really well for us. (Despite some drama in the beginning regarding the air conditioning, which was legit,  and my mom’s over-the-top expectations, which were completely unfounded.) The house had a pool, so the kids could come over and swim, and we enjoyed cooking out on the grill and taking advantage of the mild weather. Over the weekend, my sister held a combo birthday party for the kids at her community pool- which turned out great. Later that week Mike and I joined her, my brother-in-law, and a family friend for a wine tasting and tour at a local vineyard. Overall, it was a great relaxing and low key trip.. which is exactly what we wanted!

My sister's table of goodies.. she made everything..so talented

My sister’s table of goodies.. she made everything.. so talented

 

Happy 7 year old!

Happy 7 year old!

 

Happy 4 year old!

Happy 4 year old!

 

A couple weeks ago, Mike and I booked our fall trip to Europe! We finally pulled the trigger after talking about it for almost a year. It’s been on our “things we want to do before we have kids” list and I’m so excited to finally be able to go!

We designed our independent itinerary through Europeandestinations.com. I was a little nervous about using an online booking company like this, but so far everything seems to be going smoothly. We are able to pay in installments, the last being in August, so we’ll be all set for departure in late September. We are visiting 7 cities in 4 countries over the course of our 17 day trip. Italy was the country he really wanted to visit.. being that he’s half Italian.. and a Catholic.. so we will be visiting several cities there- including Rome and the Vatican, Florence, Pisa and the Cinque Terre. We’re also visiting Dublin to get a taste or Ireland (his other genetic heritage), London, and of course Paris. The booking company also lets us book activities and tours, so we are doing a select few tours through them, and the rest will be done/seen via our city passes ( Dublin, London and Paris.)

This will be my second time abroad, my first being when I was 19 with a group of students from my former high school. On that trip, we toured Paris, Provence, the French riviera, and Venice. For this trip, Paris will be the only city I’ve been to (Paris is my most favorite city ever!) and I’m so excited to explore and share the experience with my husband! I’ve already made a list of things we may need for the trip, watched tons of travel videos on YouTube, and even bought our city passes and guidebooks. Can’t wait!

Behold, the countdown!

Behold, the countdown!

Whew.. that covers a lot… I hope I can blog a little more here and there and not wait another 6 months to update. Anywho.. keep on keeping on people!

Oh yeah.. my birthday was on Mother's day.. we had Mexican.. the margaritas were fantastic ;)

Oh yeah.. my birthday was on Mother’s day.. we had Mexican.. the margaritas were fantastic 😉

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Changes…

As you can see, I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from my blog. It’s not that I haven’t had things to write about… I guess I was just a little disappointed in myself and far as my progress following my modified 21 Day Fix plan. Not only did I not have results.. I think I’ve had the opposite result. I stepped on the scale last week, and it read over 154 lbs. Yeah, that’s a gain. Um… what!? Yeah. I looked at my progress pictures and they didn’t look different really. Which, still isn’t good, as it was not the desired out come. I had been through 3 rounds of the 21 Day Fix based eating plan… and nothing. Why bother?

Well… then I started to acknowledge to myself that which I had been neglecting to acknowledge on Myfitnesspal.. I’ve been sneaking. Nutella binges. Nutella and peanut butter binges. Ice cream (reduced fat, but still). I also had been indulging at parties more- some cake at game night? Sure! Dessert on our anniversary, of course! Drinks on a Friday.. why not? I have come to realize that I wasn’t being very careful after all. And it’s starting to catch up with me.

I’ve resolved that this weight gain is unacceptable. The sugar binges need to stop. I’ve decided this go round (Which started officially yesterday,) I’m going to give it an earnest effort. Now before you think to yourself… it’s easy to say that on day two… yes, it is. BUT, last week was my maintenance week- Since the Fix is designed to run 3 weeks, it is suggested that the fourth be a maintenance week, eating in the maintenance calorie bracket, to help prevent a plateau. So technically, I started getting serious last week. I have had no refined sugar. I have been sticking to my food portions and allotments. I did indulge last Saturday, as we went Downtown with family to join a local beer tasting festival. Yeah, I had more than I wanted to, but I left it at that one indulgence and recovered the next day. I haven’t been skipping workouts, and in fact, I’m trying a new approach to focus my workouts better- which I will explain soon. I also broke down and bought the 21 Day Fix containers. I know.. I have the container sizes worked out on my own and really have no need for actual containers.. but honestly, I went with that for 3 months.. and I’m still stuck in my rut. I’m hoping that having the containers will keep me inspired and motivated to keep going… a visual reminder of what I’m doing, as you will. It’s a complete gimmick, and I know that, but I have to try something different to keep myself on track, no matter how over-simplified or unwise it may seem. (My husband really gave me flack for buying those containers!)

Anyways, I’m hoping to be more present, and share more of what’s going on as I go along. I still plan on sharing my meal plans, and I’m hoping to throw in my workout plans as well.

On a whole other note- I’ve changed my page format! I felt like it needed a fresh look. I know it’s not really purple.. but I thought it was cute and breezy. I’ve also added a new Nutritional Resources page. I would like to list articles and videos relating health and nutrition that I find interesting and noteworthy. Right now I only have one I came across- a lecture on sugar and metabolism given by Robert H. Lustig, MD, UCSF Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Endocrinology. It’s a lot of science (sorry, I’m a scientist) but I think even the layperson can get the overall gist of some of the mechanisms he presents. It’s a little long, but the presenter has some comedic relief here and there, which keeps things interesting. Check it out if you have time!

So anyways, I’ll leave it at that. Hoping to have more updates for you soon!

Even Zeus needs his exercise!

Even Zeus needs his exercise!

Motivational Monday: Get Back Up

I haven’t posted one of these in a loooonnnngggg time.. BUT… after my gym stand-down last week due to illness and, well laziness, and my sugar binge this weekend (not to mention all the other lovely indulgences I ate during a cookout on Saturday) I think I need a little motivation to get back on the right track.

You-Can-Do-IT

So, yeah. What’s done is done.. and what’s important now is to get back into watching my food and getting in my workouts. It honestly could have been worse (I actually didn’t do too bad yesterday minus the sugary foods I ate), but it’s time to put it behind me and keep moving forward. I’m sure many of us working for a better version of ourselves have lapses in judgement.. we are all human after all, and life should be lived. But here’s to a better week!

Motivational Monday: Closer

 

I have something similar to this as my phone background. Never forget where you’ve come from and what it took to get there. Never forget how much closer you were to your goal than yesterday. do the work, follow the road. It’s long, but every day a bit closer.

Motivational Monday: Today is Tomorrow

 

I saw this last week and it struck a chord with me. In 2007 when I first started going to my gym.. I was tired, I was sore, and I didn’t want to go. It’s almost hard to remember what it was like when I had to convince myself to go to the gym. I do remember trying to talk myself in (or out!) of it, but I don’t remember how it felt to even question it. Now, working out is just something I do.. like hygiene. But one particular thing did click one day; I had convinced myself to go to the gym one afternoon, and I really didn’t want to be there. I realized that, yes.. it was hard. Yes, it was boring. Yes, it hurt. But it wasn’t going to get any easier. It hurt yesterday and I survived. It will hurt tomorrow, and I’ll still go. Today is tomorrow. today is yesterday. No matter what, this is what it takes. but if I gave up and just stopped, nothing would get accomplished. It just wouldn’t. So I trudged on. I survived yesterday, I’ll survive tomorrow too.. just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually I’ll get there.

So here I am.. and I did a workout yesterday.. and I did one today too.. and I’m pretty sure I’ll do one again tomorrow. Because giving up is not an option. No one can do it for me.. I have to do it.

Motivational Monday: Better Than Yesterday

This is a great mantra when you feel like you are doing your best and you are not seeing a difference. There are differences, even if you can’t sense them. Sometimes I like to peruse sites featuring before and after pictures (MotiveWeight being one of my favorites) just to gain some perspective and motivation based on the success of other individuals. It always amazes me when I read a story about how the person didn’t feel like they had made any progress.. then compared a recent picture to an older one to realize, they had in fact made great improvements. Keeping this mantra in mind will remind you that even though you can’t see it, doesn’t mean you’re not improving. You may be getting in extra reps, or can increase the weight. You might feel less tired on a run, and are able to run that extra mile. You may even be able to hold plank longer, or reach a new yoga pose variation. Whatever you do, keep going, don’t give up! You are better than yesterday.. and think how much better you’ll be in a week, a month, a year! The sky is the limit!

Motivational Monday: Look to the Future

Ever think to yourself.. “wow.. I wish I did such-and-such better two months ago” or “I really wish I could go back and tell myself to spend time doing this-and-that.. I’d be in such a better position than I am now.” Maybe if we all visualized how what we are doing right now might affect us one, two, three months down the line.. we might not embrace the little failures that makes us want to quit. This is the key to achieving goals. Focus on the end result, not how long or hard it takes to get there. Every step we take towards our goals brings us closer and closer. Setbacks are inevitable, but should not make you lose perspective. The time passes anyways, might as well make something of it!